Tattoos. Part Two

When my son, Brendon,  was about 10 years old, he’s now 34, I told him there are 5 things you need to know from me so you can’t say “No one ever told me not to do it.”  I went on to say, “I am telling you now not to do it and it’s not up for vote. Am I clear and do you understand me?”  He nodded he understood.  Let me review with you what I told him that significant day.

First, no tattoo’s anywhere on your body.  Second, no pierced parts of your body.  Third, no orange, green or purple hair, unless it grows out that way on it’s own. Fourth, no booze or drugs.  This one I am sure he didn’t listen to me, but at least he didn’t do it until he was close to being of legal age, or I never found out.  And finally, fifth, no motorcycles.  I had a friend in college during our freshman year of college that was decapitated while riding on a motorcycle.  Howie, I will always miss you, my friend.

I went on with my discussion with him, “Let’s take them one by one. If you get a tattoo on any part of your body, I will personally cut the tattoo off slowly with a dull knife. And I have no idea how to do it so it might be messy. Second, should you decide to pierce anything, wherever or whatever you piece of your body you have done this to, I will rip it off to make a big hole wherever it was pierced. Call it abuse, call it illegal, I don’t care.  It will be worth my going to jail to prevent you from looking like an idiot your entire life.” 

Colored hair really gets me, but fortunately for you, it’s nothing that can’t be instantly removed.  While it’s cool to have a shaved head, it may look strange as a preteen.  If the Lord felt it necessary for you to have multi-colored hair, a tattoo or an earring, you would have been born with it.  I was there when you were born, and I know it wasn’t on your original equipment.

To this day, he never did #1, #2, or #3.  Most of his very good friends have done it and I am sure he was tempted.  He obviously remembered our conversation when he was 10.  He came home one day, sporting a beard for the first time.  I stared at him in disbelief as he is a handsome young man.  He smiled and said to me, “You said nothing about facial hair.  And Dad, have you looked at your upper lip? It’s been there my whole life.”  I smiled, knowing he was right, and said “yes my son, you are definitely my son.” We both laughed at each other.  He still has the beard and I still have my moustache.  Some things never change.

What is even stranger today is grown adults (and I use the term loosely) get a tattoo to be cool, or piercing their nose or tongue or sporting multi-colored hair, or even a most becoming Mohawk and believing they are cool and look young. NOT!  You are dumber than the kids.  You should have enough sense by now to know the difference between right and wrong.

Interestingly, an individual that will go unnamed, has had an earring, blonde hair once, and now has a tattoo of the “ying and yang” circle, about the size of a dinner plate, in the center of his back. One day, he proudly displayed his new art piece to me, I explained him it looked like a target for someone to aim at as he was running away.  In time, he took the earring out and the hole closed, his hair grew out so it’s back to brown.  The tattoo?  It’s still there.  One day he will wish it wasn’t there too.  Only that’s not going to be as easy to fix.

I think it’s a prerequisite, and that's ok, for beauticians, motorcyclists, mechanics, artists, entertainers, waiters, bartenders, waitresses, car washers, garbage men, truck drivers, rednecks and skin heads, but there aren’t many in Corporate America. 

One recruiter for the high tech industry said, “if an applicant has a visible tattoo or something pierced other than an earring, they won’t interview them as they want people that will work well in a group, not individualists that tend to be disruptive to the group.”

If you need to express yourself artistically, try learning how to sculpt or learn to draw or even paint.  If you have no talent, and feel the need to paint your body, have a paint gun fight, or try painting a wall.  I have a few walls that could use a new coat.  But don’t do things to yourself, especially where the rest of us have to look at it when we initially meet you.  It doesn’t make for a good first impression.

Parents, be direct and to the point.  Tell them early, and tell them often, don’t wait until they do something stupid and it’s too late.  Hopefully, some of them will listen to some of what you say to them.  They will be grateful to you in their later years and you won’t get pissed off every time they come to your home and you see what an idiot they were when they were younger.

See you next Tuesday for another Note from Blue.

Please write a comment below and tell me what you think of my blogs.  Good or Bad, I can deal with it, I am curious to see what you think.  Just type it in the box at the bottom.  It’s easy.

Tattoo’s, Part One

First, a little history:

“In 1891, tattoo artist Samuel O'Reilly was awarded the first patent for a tattoo machine -- a device allegedly based on Edison's stencil pen. O'Reilly apparently produced only one of the machines and that was for his own personal use -- there is no record of his marketing his device.

O'Reilly immigrated to New York City from Ireland in 1875. After he developed his tattoo machine, many sideshow and circus attractions began frequenting his shop at No. 11 Chatham Square. The machine was much quicker than hand tattooing, and the performers thought it gave cleaner results. After O'Reilly's death in 1908, a student took up his trade and machine and worked at Coney Island until the 1950s.” 

People have been ruining their bodies for 120 years…… but does it make sense?

I know this is going to upset some people, as you are very proud of your newly designed “scar,” sorry.  I don’t really care.  Also, let me apologize up front to any friend or family member of mine or friend, especially my nephew, as he is a musician and it seems to be a prerequisite to have at least one tattoo. The others, I know you have tattoos and you are right, it’s your body and you can do whatever you want as you have that freedom. Fortunately, most have them in places that can’t be seen when you are fully clothed and I appreciate your discreteness, but have to write this one because this is how many of us feel about tattoos.

 I may not be the “coolest” guy, but to the children and immature adults, before you get a tattoo, THINK.  I understand your need to be cool and being like your friends, but on this one you might want to try being a non-conformist, not a follower of trends as they soon will no longer be trendy.  I never got a “pet rock” either.  Fortunately, you could throw those away and no one would know how stupid it was to spend hard earned money on something as ridiculous as it had no function, other than a joke.

What is the purpose of tattoos?  Body art?  Being an individualist? If many of your friends have one, how is it being an individualist? If I wanted to see art, I would go to an Art Museum or an art studio to appreciate it.  Maybe even buy something for the same money that it cost to put it on you. The difference is I could sell the art later, if I didn’t want it any longer. Maybe even make a little money on it.  A tattoo is forever, unless of course, you spent about three times what it originally cost and twice the pain to have it removed.  I doubt any financial analyst would suggest a tattoo as a good long term investment.

Candidly, I personally just don’t want to stare at tattoos while eating dinner.  Wait until you are my age and that cute butterfly on your breast will look like Mothra from an old Godzilla movie.  Google it if you don’t know who Mothra was it will give you a good graphic understanding of what I mean.

What also concerns me is when I see all the highly-paid athletes, especially professional basketball players, covered with tattoos. Is this how you set an example to our children?  To work hard, play hard and cover yourself with body paint when you get to the NBA?  Fortunately, I haven’t seen many tennis players or golfers covered with ink and I hope I never do.  Not that they don’t have them, some do as you will see one from time to time.  Just not where I have to constantly be distracted by it as look at a match on TV.  Are golfers and tennis players that much smarter, or do they make a lot less than the rest of professional athletes?

Sometimes, I feel it’s a race to see how many you can get on your body so you can brag too your other tattooed friends that you have 17+ tattoos. Years ago if you wanted to see “the tattooed lady” you had to go to a freak show.  Now it’s common just walking down the street.  Now I know why the freak shows are no longer in business as there are freaks everywhere now. 

If it’s important to mar your body, please put it in a place the rest of us never have to see. Be discreet. Don’t put it on your neck, face, or hands. It’s offensive to most everyone, except of course, to others doing the same thing to themselves.

What would you think if you were in need of a doctor or lawyer and they were covered with that crap?  I know what I would think, I found the person that passed the bar or became a doctor that was last in their class.  They may have just gotten by in med school or law school and passed all the required tests to be certified in their profession, but I wouldn’t want them to represent or operate on me.  That’s for sure.

When you finally grow up, and that is assuming you eventually will, I am sure you will look professional and wonderful in a suit or sport coat with tattoo’s covering your face and hands.  After all, Mike Tyson sure looks like he’s a genius.  I am sure your parents and grandparents  will be impressed when you are standing up at your cousin’s wedding, in your tuxedo or expensive gown, with that crap all over you.  Nothing like wedding pictures that look like you just came from Walmart.

I must admit, I thought about it when I was 16.  Thankfully, a wave of consciousness and maturity rolled in to save me embarrassing myself later in life.  I remember when a friend had a Playboy Bunny put on his calf.  I won’t name him, but I am sure his ex-wife that will read this will know who I am speaking about.

He’s now 64.  I wonder how he will explain it to his new grandchild when they get older.  “Oh Grandpa got that back in the early 60’s.  I was a trendsetter.”  I am sure that bunny looks great now with varicose veins.

Figure this out children.  While you think you are cool with that barb wire tattooed on your arm and that eagle on your leg or shoulder.  Wait until you are 50 and hopefully have your own business. Then at the company picnic, while wearing a tee shirt and shorts, you have to explain it to your vice-president of finance about what a fool you were earlier in your life.

What were you thinking when you did that to yourself? How drunk or drugged were you? Maybe the Designated Driver should also be called the Designated Sane One.  Do you really think you are a one of a kind?  Unfortunately, you’re not, there are a lot of other fools out there just like you.

My Dad always said to me when I came to him and said, “Everybody else is doing it, why can’t I?”  His answer was right to the point.  He said, “First, because I said so, you’re not doing it.  Second, if everyone was jumping off the roof, would you?”  Dad, thanks for saving me from being an idiot from whatever stupid thing I wanted to do.

The only people that profit from your tattoo are the “artist” that installed it on you and the Dermatologist that takes them off when you figure out it wasn’t such a good idea after all.

I just don’t want to sit waiting for a plane in an airport and have to look at it in the waiting area.

So have I pissed you off?  Did I get you to think?  Then, I have done my job today.  Hopefully, I have reached one parent or child that won’t do this.  To those of you that are the “uncool” of the world.  Let’s stick together. 

 For more on this particular subject, see you on Thursday for another Note from Blue.

Please write a comment below and tell me what you think of my blogs.  Good or Bad, I can deal with it, I am curious to see what you think.  Just type it in the box at the bottom and hit return.  It’s easy.

Our Children

Today, it’s about our children. In 4 simple words, THEY NEVER GO AWAY! We raise them from infants to grown adults. We feed them, clothe them, put a roof over them, and of course we try to educate them. But, they never go away. IT'S FOREVER!

If someone had told me that, before my ex-wife and I had a child, I may have given it more consideration.   Not that I don’t love my son, as I do very much. He has made me very proud. He has been working for a major airline for over 12 years. In his free time he became a commercial helicopter pilot. He helps me when I need help around my home, he is a gentleman, a very kind and considerate young man with a great sense of humor. I am very blessed as we are very close, along with my wife, they are my 2 best friends in the world.

When I was 18 and graduated from high school, I couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. I left skid marks in the living room carpeting I wanted out so bad. This was during an era that was called a generation gap. It was “we (the brilliant children we were)” against “them (our know it all parents)." We didn’t see eye to eye on anything. It was the middle 60’s and there was peace and love. Just not with our parents. They were the enemy. I screwed up. I admit it, openly. I didn’t learn an important aspect of raising children from my parents.

Actually most of my entire generation screwed up. We all felt we would never be like our parents and treat our children how they treated us. Instead, we would make them our “friend” so we wouldn’t have such an adversarial relationship.  Very big mistake. My generation miscalculated a major factor. If they like you and are your friend, they won’t go away. If they hate you, or dislike you alot for those who are uncomfortable with the word “hate,” when they are becoming semi-adults like most 16-18 year olds do, they’ll leave as quickly as I did.

When my son came home from college, as he knew most everything there was to know, he came to live with me. His mother had raised him in the house he lived in for the first 18 years of his life.  The one I lost in the divorce when he was 4. She did a nice job, as she was much better as a mom than she did as a wife. I bought another home when he was 10 and I had him every weekend from then on.  Interestingly, he never went to live with her after he turned 18. He always returned to me. I think he also liked my lifestyle.  I was a cool Dad with all the toys.

When he was 18 I no longer paid child support.  So to celebrate,  I went out and bought a Mercedes 560SL two-seater convertible. I knew I could afford it, as I no longer paid his mother the child ransom. I let him drive it when I first got it. He loved that car.  I asked him if he wanted one of his own. He quickly responded YES! I said, Good! Did you know that 97% of people that own these cars are college graduates? So when you graduate from college you can buy your own!"

While living with me, I would love it when he would stand in front of the refrigerator and state, “There is nothing to eat here!” I always quickly replied, “I wouldn’t put up with it, I’d move out if I were you. Maybe you should go live with your mother.” We then went to the grocery store to fill his constantly empty body.

I was single for 16 wonderful years. I usually only dated women 10+ years younger than myself so I wouldn’t have anything in common, except for a good time. I was a confirmed bachelor, the envy of most of my married friends.  Finally, I met a wonderful woman, only a year and a half younger. That was a little over 17 years ago and now nearly 14 years later, we are still happily married. I found out you can be “Happily Married.” It’s not an oxymoron. I honestly thought you could be happy or you could be married. Not both. I was wrong. Did that deter my son from returning to his dad. In a word, nope.

He and I have a great relationship. I have always wanted to keep it that way. When my new wife moved into “my house” she quickly moved most of what I had out and moved her “stuff” in or changed most everything in my house so we could have “our house,” for a while any way. A couple of years later, I added an additional 1000 square feet to the house, re-did the bathrooms with granite countertops, etc. I thought, now it was “our house.”

Wrong again. Then my son kept moving home with me as he “liked” me. Once he moved an entire mile away and after a year, he returned again. My wife Leslie, informed we were still living in “my house”.  So I went house hunting. The first home I found was on 5 acres, a separate out building which I could have as my home office. It had a 1 ½ acre pond stocked with bass and brim. Another acre was fenced for the dogs. It even had an elevator. I was a happy guy.

Excitedly I called my wife at work and told her I found “our new house.” She came directly from work with a few of her co-workers to see the home. I was shocked she wasn’t impressed ….. at all. How could I have been so wrong? Why didn’t she like it? Because it didn’t have enough closet space. How stupid of me.

I was upset, after all it’s my money I worked hard for all these years to pay for it. What had I done to myself? For 16 years, I consulted with no one and I made all the decisions, I was always happy. It was then I realized......I was married. It’s not about what I alone wanted. I was dumb-founded, but understood my challenge.

Fortunately, we eventually found “our house” with enough closets for her and a couple of acres of pond for me. We were now both happy in "our house." So this is what being happily married is about. Now, I had to tell my son we were moving out on him.

I asked him if he would like to live in the house he grew up in, alone, well with roommates other than my wife and me. He looked at me in a gleeful daze and quickly agreed. I said I had some bad news, that we would have to leave the hot tub in the new sunroom I just had built. He smiled and said he understood and could handle the bad news. I also told him I had to leave the Bose 5.1 stereo system as it was built into the walls. Again he said he would deal with the bad news as best he could. Now he could live in the bachelor pad with all the toys without me around.  He was a happy guy.

Finally, I explained he would have to pay rent along with his new roommates to cover the mortgage. He understood and said he would never be late. And he has never been late on the rent.

While visiting the "our new house" for the first time, he commented, “ I’m going to like it here, Dad.” I quickly replied, “No, you aren't.  Just like in holiday dinners, you live in the “kids’ house”. Children are no longer living with us. If anyone wants to move home, they go there. He replied, “Really? I figured every few years everybody moves one up.” As you can see he also has my sense of humor. That was 11 years ago. He still hasn’t moved out. Now he and his new fiancé live there and they are making it “their house."

Moral of the story……… learn from your parents or grandparents. When your children are 16 or so and dislike you and think you are an idiot, leave it alone, let them hate you. I speak from experience, never make your children your friend as they will never go away. If they dislike you, they will leave quickly.

Some of us are lucky, like myself. My son turned out exactly how I would have wanted him to. He's never done anything to shame his family and we, even my ex-wife and I, are still friends after being divorced for 30+ years. I guess we were right after all as a generation. He was a pleasure to raise, we don't fight, and never did.  I may have pissed him off a time or two.  But I was just doing my job as a father, which is to piss our children off and to make their life miserable from time to time.  Actually, I am glad it worked out the way it did.  

All of you raising your children today. Take a lesson from us, make them your friend not your enemy. It works and you will be happy you did in the long run. But it doesn't mean you can't joke about it as I have today. When I see him, we always kiss each other on the cheek and when he leaves, we do it again.  We end every phone conversation with, "I Love you." Guess we did do a better job than our parents did after all. 

One last thought, I love going to the grocery store and seeing some young kids acting up in the store as their parents try to control their embarrassing behavior. I quietly walk up to them, especially a father, and say “they never go away.” Every Dad laughs and thinks to himself, “What have I done?” I smile and walk away. I think to myself, I have done a good deed, I warned them. I’ll bet their parents didn’t explain that to them as well. Try it, it’s always gets a good laugh.

The Very First Blog

This is my very first Blog so bear with me. Let me say this up front, I have dyslexia and sometimes will leave words out.  I see the words, but you might not.  The grammar might not be correct, but just concentrate on the content, not necessarily how I put it in words. 

I hope you will find them interesting, thought provoking, and some will be funny as is my personality. In any case, they will be honest and truthful without a hidden agenda.  My wife many times has asked me, "What did you mean when you said that?"  My response has always been, "exactly as I said, I have no hidden meaning like some, I am not that deep."  I say what I mean, good or bad, right or wrong to your point of view, it's an honest reflection of the way I feel.

I am a political independent as I see both sides of an issue and tend to side which ever makes sense to me.  I don't like extremism either to the left or the right, just as you shouldn't look at life out of only one eye, you must open both eyes to understand so you have the ability to see the entire picture.  I hope you will pass my blog on to friends, relatives, business acquaintances, but most of all I hope you enjoy them and return to read it on a regular basis.    That being said, here we go......

My first subject is Mrs. Obama's recent trip to Africa. Currently, and I am sure you are as surprised as I am, our Free Press has not reported as to who is paying for this junket, oops I mean "mission" to Africa.  If it is coming out of the Obama's personal account, I have no trouble with it, althought I think she could do more good keeping their money in the US and not spent in other counties.  But that will be another blog for another day. If you and I are paying for it, this just doesn't make sense, especially during our current economic conditions. There are many other issues that need financial support for our tax dollars to be spent on. If we are paying for it, this seems like a waste of taxpayer's hard earned dollars.  For discussion sake, let's assume we are paying for it. 

I wonder if this is how the trip evolved?  Let your imagination take you to the White House...

While at the dinner table in the White House, Michelle says, " OK kids, where would you like to go on your summer vacation this year?  Next year we are all going to be helping Dad get re-elected, so let's go somewhere special.  Let's not forget, Dad may be out of a job next year so let's go somewhere where we can be treated like royalty. 

Shall we go to California and meet all the movie stars that backed Daddy's campaign in the election?  No, we can always invite them to visit us in the White House.  That way it can give them a thrill and something to brag about to their friends.  You know how they like free publicity!  Then, how about we go to Spain, although the press did catch us and in the end we had to pay for it ourselves, we had a great time there.  Daughter, "Oh Mom, we did that last year.  Let's go somewhere we've never been, far far away."

Michelle, "OK honey, how about let's go back to our roots, let's go to Africa!  And if I work it right, the taxpayers will pay for it so we can save some money as well.  We'll make it a fun trip, maybe even go on a Safari!  Let's bring both of your cousins too, as long as it's free.   If we work it out right, we can meet Nelson Mandela and his family for about 20 minutes for a "Photo Op" and it can all be justified as a Mission."  Daughter, "Is Dad going too? Michelle, "No he has to run the country, but let's take Grandma and your cousins too.  Won't that be fun?  Because you and Grandma are such picky eaters and the food is so bad there, we'll bring our cooks and servants along so we won't have to deal with the yucky local food, except of course for photo ops.  Just like when Daddy and I went to Ireland recently on the taxpayers." 

And so another Obama vacation was born.

More on Thursday.  If you would like to comment, either good, bad or indifferent, please write me at steveblue22@gmail.com.  Thanks  Hope to hear from you soon.