Tattoos. Part Two

When my son, Brendon,  was about 10 years old, he’s now 34, I told him there are 5 things you need to know from me so you can’t say “No one ever told me not to do it.”  I went on to say, “I am telling you now not to do it and it’s not up for vote. Am I clear and do you understand me?”  He nodded he understood.  Let me review with you what I told him that significant day.

First, no tattoo’s anywhere on your body.  Second, no pierced parts of your body.  Third, no orange, green or purple hair, unless it grows out that way on it’s own. Fourth, no booze or drugs.  This one I am sure he didn’t listen to me, but at least he didn’t do it until he was close to being of legal age, or I never found out.  And finally, fifth, no motorcycles.  I had a friend in college during our freshman year of college that was decapitated while riding on a motorcycle.  Howie, I will always miss you, my friend.

I went on with my discussion with him, “Let’s take them one by one. If you get a tattoo on any part of your body, I will personally cut the tattoo off slowly with a dull knife. And I have no idea how to do it so it might be messy. Second, should you decide to pierce anything, wherever or whatever you piece of your body you have done this to, I will rip it off to make a big hole wherever it was pierced. Call it abuse, call it illegal, I don’t care.  It will be worth my going to jail to prevent you from looking like an idiot your entire life.” 

Colored hair really gets me, but fortunately for you, it’s nothing that can’t be instantly removed.  While it’s cool to have a shaved head, it may look strange as a preteen.  If the Lord felt it necessary for you to have multi-colored hair, a tattoo or an earring, you would have been born with it.  I was there when you were born, and I know it wasn’t on your original equipment.

To this day, he never did #1, #2, or #3.  Most of his very good friends have done it and I am sure he was tempted.  He obviously remembered our conversation when he was 10.  He came home one day, sporting a beard for the first time.  I stared at him in disbelief as he is a handsome young man.  He smiled and said to me, “You said nothing about facial hair.  And Dad, have you looked at your upper lip? It’s been there my whole life.”  I smiled, knowing he was right, and said “yes my son, you are definitely my son.” We both laughed at each other.  He still has the beard and I still have my moustache.  Some things never change.

What is even stranger today is grown adults (and I use the term loosely) get a tattoo to be cool, or piercing their nose or tongue or sporting multi-colored hair, or even a most becoming Mohawk and believing they are cool and look young. NOT!  You are dumber than the kids.  You should have enough sense by now to know the difference between right and wrong.

Interestingly, an individual that will go unnamed, has had an earring, blonde hair once, and now has a tattoo of the “ying and yang” circle, about the size of a dinner plate, in the center of his back. One day, he proudly displayed his new art piece to me, I explained him it looked like a target for someone to aim at as he was running away.  In time, he took the earring out and the hole closed, his hair grew out so it’s back to brown.  The tattoo?  It’s still there.  One day he will wish it wasn’t there too.  Only that’s not going to be as easy to fix.

I think it’s a prerequisite, and that's ok, for beauticians, motorcyclists, mechanics, artists, entertainers, waiters, bartenders, waitresses, car washers, garbage men, truck drivers, rednecks and skin heads, but there aren’t many in Corporate America. 

One recruiter for the high tech industry said, “if an applicant has a visible tattoo or something pierced other than an earring, they won’t interview them as they want people that will work well in a group, not individualists that tend to be disruptive to the group.”

If you need to express yourself artistically, try learning how to sculpt or learn to draw or even paint.  If you have no talent, and feel the need to paint your body, have a paint gun fight, or try painting a wall.  I have a few walls that could use a new coat.  But don’t do things to yourself, especially where the rest of us have to look at it when we initially meet you.  It doesn’t make for a good first impression.

Parents, be direct and to the point.  Tell them early, and tell them often, don’t wait until they do something stupid and it’s too late.  Hopefully, some of them will listen to some of what you say to them.  They will be grateful to you in their later years and you won’t get pissed off every time they come to your home and you see what an idiot they were when they were younger.

See you next Tuesday for another Note from Blue.

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