The most common prank pulled on a younger child is the “you were adopted” prank. I was the oldest and therefore it was my responsibility to aggravate my brother. He is four years younger and always wanted to hang out with me whenever possible. If I could make him cry without touching him, even better. One time I pulled the adoption joke on him and of course my proof that he was adopted was, “I remember because I was there when they brought you home from the orphanage.” When the child comes running and crying to their parents asking if they were adopted, the most common parental response is “It’s not true, don’t listen to your brother.”
Except, of course, my Dad. He always had an interesting sense of humor (did I say that nicely?) and wanted to teach me a lesson. He told my brother, “no, you are not adopted, your older brother who told you this, is adopted.” This of course delighted my younger brother as he came running back to me with a big smile to tell me, “Dad said I wasn’t adopted, you were adopted.” I was the oldest and had no one to ask to dispute my Dad and for awhile I believed my little brother. Eventually, I was told the truth, when I was shown pictures of my mother pregnant with me, at least I think I was told the truth…….
It is a given that my brother and I were idiots. When my parents went to the hospital for the birth of my sister, my brother and I announced that it had to be a boy, a dog or a pony when they came home. We didn’t want a sister and if it was a girl, we were going to pack up and leave the house.
When my parents showed up with my sister and they saw our disappointment. Dad took us to our bedroom and took out a suitcase so he could help us start packing. We eventually understood what he was doing, as we stood at the front door with our suitcases. We knew we had to accept my sister whether we liked it or not. As she grew older, we each found ways to show her who was in charge of the kids.
My brother and I loved to torment our baby sister who was 4 years younger than my brother and much smarter than my brother and I combined. Even with all we did to her growing up, she graduated from high school at 16 and cum laude at the University of Iowa at 19. She may have gained the “book smarts” on her own, we helped her with “street smarts’”
One of the funniest pranks my younger brother did to my sister was when he was about 8 and she was 4. My father was the kind of guy that you didn’t want to mess with as he always won. Although he was small, he was powerful.
One day, Dad came by my bedroom looking for my sister as he couldn’t find her. He asked me if I knew where she was and I told him I had no idea. He then went next door to my brother’s bedroom and while standing in front of the sliding wooden hollow closet doors in my brother's room, Dad asked my brother the same question, “Have you seen your sister?” He replied, “ah, no Dad.” Then behind Dad and the sliding closet door you could hear a faint, sound like someone holding their hand over there mouth trying to speak, “mmmmmm mmmmmmm.” .
Dad slowly turned around, while now facing the closet, he gently slid the sliding closet door to the right. As it moved you could see his eyes getting bigger and bigger. There before him was my sister tied up and gagged, laying prone on the closet shelf. I only wish I had a camera to capture my father’s face. My brother tried to leave the room, but my father quickly told him not to move a muscle. As my Dad unraveled my sister and took the duct tape off her mouth, he hugged her and then turned to my younger brother.
My Dad, trying not to laugh, asked my brother how this happened. He sheepishly replied, “ Dad, she was driving me nuts. She kept following me around and wouldn’t leave me alone.” My brother then spent a long time in his bedroom alone as he was under what would now be called “house arrest.”
My lesson to teach my little sister, sometimes known between my brother and I as "little Miss-Goody-Two Shoes," was to teach her not to always tell on us when we did something we weren’t supposed to do. Not that we ever did anything we were told not to do, but occasionally things would happen that needed to be kept between the kids and not shared with Mom and Dad.
As most little sisters do, she many times felt it was her responsibility to report to our parents the stupid things my brother and I did. One day, after a recent tattle-tale experience on me, I decided to teach her never to do that again.
Our house had a clothes chute in each closet that went from the bedrooms to the basement, where the washer and dryer were located. She was about 5 and as I mentioned earlier, very smart for her age. But she had to be taught a lesson. So I held her over the clothes chute, as she was just the right size to fit it, and promised to drop her down it if she ever told on me again.
Being brighter than we were it of course didn’t work and she continued, given any opportunity, told my parents whatever we did. Today, we would probably go to jail. But then, it was just funny. We still laugh about it. Many times at family gatherings when we are telling childhood stories, her children now adults, would love to hear these stories about their “Perfect” Mom.
What prank did you pull on your brother, sister, friends or parents? What was the best one pulled on you? Please send it to me at steveblue22@gmail.com and it might make it into Thursday’s blog. Come on, send it. “I won’t tell anyone……….” It’s an opportunity to do it again.
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Great stories!
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