In April of 1994 I had been divorced for 13 years and traveling the country as a National Account sales representative for a major technology company. I had recently ended a 3 year long distance relationship because she couldn’t get her children out of her state and I wasn’t leaving my son in Georgia. Shortly afterwards a friend I played tennis with asked if I would like to meet a friend of hers. My only comment was, “she has to live in Georgia.” Having been fixed up once before, I was very skeptical. Previously a friend had fixed me up and after the uncomfortable date, all I could think of, is this is who you think I’m like? Really? I mean, REALLY??? To say I was apprehensive would be an complete understatement, but what did I have to lose?
Even with my previous blind date experience, I agreed to meet her friend. We arranged to meet at a bar, (I don’t drink) near one of my favorite Italian restaurants. If I like her, we can walk to dinner. If not, dinner alone. We each sat in our car in the parking lot, trying to get up enough courage to see what this was going to be like. I went in and got a table outside where we could hear the piano player in the background and still be able to talk and hear each other. She on the other hand was talking to her sister on her phone who trying to convince her to go in and meet me. Little did we know that from that day in April,1994 we would be together for the next 20 years and I will have met my new best friend and laughter partner.
When she joined me at the table, I was shocked. Here was a beautiful woman, full of personality and one of the funniest women I have ever met. What an incredible wonderful surprise! She was pleasantly refreshing as not only was she beautiful, she shared my sense of humor, our outlook on life and lust for fun. Finally, it was nice not having to be the date’s main source of entertainment. We shared it equally.
We laughed for the next 20 years about everything. Once, after visiting a Target, we decided to walk through the store making improv jokes about things we found along the aisles. It got to be so funny we had to leave our cart and leave the store because we couldn’t look at each other without hysterically laughing.
We knew we had found our “once in a lifetime” and we wanted to share the rest of our lives together. After a year of dating and speaking every day, her lease was up on her rental house and she moved into my home.
On the 4th of July, 1997, I married my best friend, Leslie Reight Blue. We called it, "The Lack of Independence Day." A small party of our parents, some of our children, family and a few very close friends gathered in the living room of the home I’ve been living in again the last 11 years.
I recently put the house up for sale where were married, and it generated all the memories of what the house created. It makes your heart swim through the roller coaster of flowing emotions.
During the past 30 years, our parents and many friends have passed away, as well as my Leslie Reight Blue. She joined them a little over 12 years ago. Her passing left a hole in my life, as it will never heal. Every day it gets easier to live without her smile, but it never gets easy.
Everyday I make it an opportunity to remember and celebrate what some never experience, being truly happily married. We truly appreciated each other, played and learned what love can be, when done correctly. Both of us being previously unhappily married as both our spouses had cheated on us. Trust was paramount to each of us. After some time, patience, and trials we found trust returned. It was monumental for both us after being hurt so badly.
I will forever be grateful to experience those special 20 years. I pray each of you who read this, find your special person, and have the kind of relationship we had. They come around once in a lifetime.
So when they leave the toilet seat up and you land in the cold toilet water in the middle of the night, or if they take their clothes off in a pile on the floor and leave it there, and it pisses you off. If they are constantly talking to themselves, more like incoherent babbling and driving you crazy because you never know if they are actually talking to you. Stop and put it in perspective. Is it really that offensive or important to you? Will it end the war in the Ukraine? Will it stop Iran from making nuclear weapons? Is what they do critical to keeping world peace? What you need to as yourself, “do they have qualities that out weigh those dramatic concerns?” Get your priorities straight.
Be cognizant, it's rare to find someone that you can tolerate, lol. Appreciate every day with this special person as it can end unexpectedly. So, tell each other of the love you share, everyday. It will keep it strong. Add laughter to the love, which makes it all immeasurable and is crucial to be happy every day. You can never have too much “happy”! It will be stored in your memories with you the rest of your life. And be sure to make someone smile everyday.
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