So You Want a Puppy.....

I wrote this about three months ago and never published it. I looked back at it and thought this was a good time to share, it being close to the holidays, and many people getting dogs for Christmas. At the end, I updated it so you could see where she is today. I hope you enjoy it.

Two and a half years ago, we purchased an eight week old Golden Retriever; she was a cute as could be. It was at about the same time that my wife started getting ill, but the doctors couldn’t seem to identify exactly what she was dealing with, so I ended up being with the little puppy all the time as my wife felt ill. Biscuit attached to me like a shadow, and she became “my dog.” 

For the last six months, my wife has been battling cancer and wanted a puppy, so that she could raise it to be “hers.” She goes on the internet and finds a cute female that has been taken away from the owners as they couldn’t afford what it took to raise 5 puppies.

So, we rescued a puppy. Not that we needed another animal as we already had a Golden Retriever, an outside/inside cat, and a pair of swans with four additional cygnets on our stocked pond. As you can tell, we have quite a menagerie.

She wanted to do the right thing and rescue a puppy so after finally convincing me she would help take care of the puppy, I agreed. She looked at many rescue shelters in the area and finally saw a beautiful female she fell in love with that was three months old.

Now this isn’t your normal “Heinz 57” mutt. We have raised Golden Retrievers for over 35 years and love the breed. We know what to expect with a golden retriever puppy. She of course picked out a dog neither of us has ever raised before, so we have no experience with this breed.

So, we did our homework on the internet and found what we were in for with this breed. Did I mention, the breed is a Saint Bernard? Yes, the as an adult, up to 200 pounds of dog, a female Saint Bernard. We thought we were crazy before, but now this will certify that we are, without a doubt, certifiably crazy.

We arranged to pick her up in the middle of Absolutely Nowhere, Georgia, which is about 45 minutes from our home. The owner of the rescue has been saving dogs from euthanasia for over 30 years.

We called and let her know we were on our way and thanks to my trusty GPS, we found her place. As we get out of our car, a little pipsqueak mutt about the size of a football, starts barking at us as she is checking us out and continues until the owner shouts out to us that she’s drying the puppy and will be right out.

Out the owner comes with a clothes basket full of dog. Adorable and sweet and scared about what is happening. She’s in a basket and we don’t let the puppy on the ground as she still needs the rest of her shots. We were impressed as being a dog owner, is the right way to do it as she hasn’t had all her shots yet. We were impressed.

After our greeting this gorgeous 3 month old female Saint Bernard we named Graci her weight was 22 pounds. As my wife went to get sign all the papers and pay for our new pup, I could see Graci was hot, as it does in August in Georgia, so I thought putting her in the backseat and blasting the air conditioning.                                                           

In that we already have a large dog, I already have a protective cover for the back seat, it’s like a dog hammock, in the back seat. Within 30 seconds of being placed there, she winds up and pees in the car. We’re not talking short little puppy pee, we’re talking St. Bernard pee. There was a lake in my back seat immediately. Actually we picked her up just after she had been bathed, so it’s not a real surprise as most pups drink the bath water as the bath is being filled. Nice way to greet your new owners.

So, as it didn’t take long to christen the car, we quickly cleaned it up without any real hassle. I am so glad I had that cover on the back seat. We got it clean and took an old blanket out of the trunk and placed it over the cover, so she didn’t have to sit in the wet cover. Less than 30 seconds later, she christened the back seat with pooping on the blanket. All I could think of was “What have we gotten ourselves into?” A large Peeing Pooping Machine?

So this was our introduction to our new Saint Bernard. We cleaned it up and got another blanket from the rescue lady and now we were waiting for her to vomit, as it was the only thing she hadn’t done yet to the backseat of my car. Fortunately, she didn’t.

Now, we were finally on our way to the vet to have her checked out. She passed with flying colors. We then went to one of the national pet warehouses and picked up puppy food and puppy treats and of course a toy. Between what we bought for the puppy and the dog food for our retriever, I walked out over a hundred dollars lighter.

Finally, we made it home. She had been exposed to a lot in the past 3 hours and we were glad to finally get her home. We get her out of the car onto the cool cement of the garage and she was like a soft cuddly rock that was glad to lie down and chill.

That soon became a problem as we needed to get her accustomed to our house and surroundings and we don’t normally live in the garage. But that cold cement floor sure felt good. Now what incentive could we give her to walk around? Those puppy treats, or course.

While she liked the treats, she wasn’t going to get off her butt to walk for one. She just wanted to chill. Eventually, we gave up and had to carry her, all 22 pounds of dead weight, into the house. Now on the cool kitchen tiles she became a lump of coal again.

I have actually found an animal lazier than I am and much cuter! Later, we got her outside on the front yard and she proudly did her business where dogs are supposed to do their business. She was running around and having a great time as she became acquainted with her new surroundings.

Our cat (Roy D. Mercer) came home as it was dinner time and you could almost see him look at us and say, “You have to be kidding! Another animal I have to contend with? Let’s not forget I was the first one here and have seniority over all these other animals.” Actually, he could less.

Now it was time to introduce her to our Golden. They went to the normal introduction of smelling butts, a dog ritual that fortunately has not been passed on to humans. The new sisters had a great time as they got to know each other. Our Golden is bigger now, but in a few months she will be the smaller of the two.

I wrote the above on the day we got Graci. Today is over 3 months later and Graci is now six months old and larger than our Golden (Biscuit). Biscuit has, amazingly, taught Graci the rules of the house. Not to leave my office unless invited. Sitting at the base of the stairs until I get to the top and say it’s OK to come up the stairs, getting into the bath tub for a bath, etc. I teach Graci and Biscuit helps enforce it. She was house trained in about a week.

The two get along great, they wrestle and run together or after each other. If you stare consistantly at Graci, you can actually see her grow.  She is going to be a very large dog.  We are so glad that we rescued her and have added the Saint Bernard to our list of special dogs. 

                                             

My wife is also officially in remission of her cancer, although she still must have chemo every 2-3 weeks. She’s even gone back to work part time and very glad to be back after the past 6 months of chemo every other week. She has fought hard and kept a great attitude. Graci has also helped her in that she can share her “mothering instincts” again and get an escape from the obvious.

Puppies have amazing healing ability and 100% escape ability. Even if it’s for a short time, it’s nice. Have a safe and wonderful holiday season and look for more from Notes by Blue in 2012.

Please follow me on Twitter @slblue. If you have a moment, I would love to hear from you, either add a comment in the section below or send me an email to: steveblue22@gmail.com Please be sure to forward the blog to your co-workers, family and friends.

 

Do we really need Passwords, User ID's and User Names? Part Two

In our first month we had 1000 pageviews.  In the following  four  months we are now over 45,000 pageviews.  Thank you for making "Notes by Blue" one of the fastest growing blogs.  I appreciate your support!

I also want to thank all those that wrote me or commented on Part One of Passwords, User ID's and User Names.  Overwhelmingly, I seem to have hit on a subject that many feel the same way about Passwords, User ID’s and Names.  It has become a necessary technology evil.

Some use the same password or variant throughout their secure life.  Others carry a sheet with all the various information, while still others store them in an application on their phone, tablet or computer and need to only remember one user ID and password.

 

Whatever method you may use as I mentioned earlier, we have to keep too many passwords, user ID’s or user names to survive on the internet.  There needs to be a better way.  I think one of the more interesting password combinations I found is one a friend uses is: Idontknow and when it had to be changed they changed it to Istilldontknow.

 

Remember when business was done with a hand shake?  Do you recall, or even ask your mother or father, that there was a time when there weren’t forms, more forms and forms for the forms to go along with the passwords, user ID’s and user names and various codes.  Unfortunately today, we must always protect ourselves from law suits, theft and deceit today.  

About twenty-five years ago the internet didn’t play a part in our business or personal life at all.  Today, it has become the backbone of our life.  Not having internet service, unthinkable?  What has the world become?

Let’s not forget video surveillance, similar to the novel published in 1949, George Orwell’s  “1984,” there are camera’s nearly everywhere we go.  You would think it would deter crime, yeah right.  Very few get away with anything forever.  Eventually, most people get caught.  But, sometimes they don’t.  And each idiot thinks’ they can be the one to get away with it.

It comes down to, whom do you trust and how much do you trust them with? A lot of people trusted Bernie Maddoff and looked what happened.  A lot of people put trust in our Congress and Senate and look what it got us.  If we have a difficult time trusting, as we must now, then we must find a better protect ourselves, something we can trust for accuracy. That brings us to Passwords, User ID’s and User Names…..

  

It has become apparent why we have codes and passwords to protect us, but, there needs to be better alternatives and there are.  Let’s look at a few.

There is technology that uses finger or palm prints, and others that have eye identification, still others with facial identification.  These technologies will need to become affordable and much more accurate.  Eventually these technologies will reach perfection, are more accurate and can’t be duplicated or manipulated.  A universal identification standard program.

 

Most importantly in my case, we wouldn’t have to remember codes, passwords, user ID or name ever again.  Most states, like here in Georgia, require a thumb print on your driver’s license so it’s nothing new to allow the government to have this information.

I hope that everything will, one day, go to a swipe of my finger for my finger print or stare into here for your eye print.  We would then set a standard throughout the country.  Any time you need to use a password and user name or ID, you just swipe your finger or palm or look into the camera or stare at this for your eye scan.  

It could be attached to your computer as it’s the safest way to keep your computer only for you.  It could be used along with credit cards or even replace credit cards, where the charge would still be sent to them but only after a scan.  All you need in your wallet is your driver’s license, insurance identification with a required scan, and cash.  Unfortunately, cash will always remain the hardest one to actually keep in your wallet.

If someone had a ski mask on or gloves, they aren’t getting through the security.  Halloween, though, could be tricky.  It would protect your credit card that was stolen and save the banks, and credit companies millions which could be passed onto the consumers.  But you know they will then have a fee for each time you are scanned.  LOL

Here’s an idea:  Maybe Mr. Obama could invest our money in this technology for the good of the country and make every company provide one of these alternatives for their clients.  It sure would make me happy!  How about you?  You have to admit, it would be a better investment than the green initiative company, Solyndra, loan turned out when they went bankrupt after our politician’s loaned the company $750,000,000 of our money!

It would save billions from those stealing Social Security Checks, Welfare, and Disability checks. As this is very common and it’s robbing those that need it the most.  What if there was a kiosk in every grocery store (we all have to get food sometime) and it would print your check after you were scanned?

 

Today, most everyone has access to a computer via the library, friends, or senior’s park district centers, etc.  If you are bed ridden, or in a hospital, this would not be a problem as hospitals and doctors could use them to insure each patient gets the correct dosage of their medicines and insure the person is who they say they are. No more "pill shopping" for patients trying to feed an addiction, because they will be scanned.

 A scanner comes with every computer as part of the computer or a scanner, with a connection to the internet, could be used to confirm that you are getting your check which will be then credited to your account which will also require a finger, palm or face electronic ID to access.

 

It would save on postage and paper as well as government checks will no longer required to be mailed and those that are direct deposited, they bank would require a scan to get your money. 

Those living in government subsidized housing, on Welfare or receiving Food Stamps, will get access to their money, right after they take the drug test for illicit drugs. The idea being, it is not the intent of any of these programs to be forever, the money is intended for food, clothing, and housing.  Not much else, especially not harmful illegal or abusing legal addicting drugs.

So here we are over 60 years since George Orwell’s 1949 novel as he was a little early for its time and interesting how similar as it is today and as in his “1984”. Almost frightening how similar.

I am sure the cost would be much less than what our country loaned to the wonderful bankers and automobile companies in the recent bailouts or the subsidizing “green initiatives” companies that went bankrupt or “shovel ready” projects that haven’t begun yet.  

Funding could come from all the monies that were set aside a few years ago, that still haven’t been spent on the projects that were to create jobs and help the economy.  This would create jobs, promote technology and make our money and personal information more secure.  It might even find some people that were able to get away with something illegal years ago.

The possibilities are endless.  Airports, train stations, starting your vehicle......  What do you think?

See you soon in the next installment of Notes By Blue.

Please follow me on Twitter @slblue. If you have a moment, I would love to hear from you, either add a comment in the section below or send me an email to: steveblue22@gmail.com Please be sure to forward the blog to your co-workers, family and friends.

Do we really need all the Passwords, User ID’s, User Names? Part One

Passwords, User ID’s, User Names…..These are all necessary evils of the internet.  No matter where you go online, you need to have these to exist on the Internet.  From the moment you sign on to your computer in the morning till you turn if off at night.  What is confusing is to me is the more of these I have to know, the more I mix-up what each password is for which user name and for what application.

Some you need a number in it, some you need a Capital letter.  Some will let you use symbols while others won’t.  There are some passwords that won’t allow you to use anything that is close to your name while others require a number in the middle.  And where do most people keep this secure information?  My guess, is on their phone, the most lost or damaged item since another security item was invented, keys.  Security is actually synonymous with lost and forgotten.

I would not be surprised if one day to get into your ATM you will need to do the following:  hopping up and down on one foot, pull your left ear lobe while spinning clockwise and singing your high school “fight song.”  Well, maybe not.  But it sure would be funny to watch.

I started a new job less than a month ago (which is why I haven't blogged in a while) and the first information I received from my new company were the user ID’s and passwords for my laptop, for the VPN, for the intra-company web site, for the company’s mainframe computer, and of course for my new company email.  Five new separate ID’s and five new unique passwords.  I don’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday, let alone all these new security ID’s and passwords.  To make things worse, I am required to change the passwords every ninety days!  This is all in the name of our company’s security.

While it is important to keep company information secure from hackers, it has become apparently difficult to keep secure all the information we have at our fingertips.  While it’s great to have access to all this information, I find it sometimes more challenging to remember all the User ID’s, User names or Passwords than the information I actually need. 

Apple even has an “App” that will keep all your User ID’s, User Names and Passwords in one secure App.  Of course you need a master User Name and Password to get to this information.  In essence, you need a User Name and Password for your User Names and Passwords.  Does that seem a bit redundant? 

Nothing I have, behind all the security, is that interesting in the first place. They won’t get much, if they did break into my checking account, actually it wouldn’t be worth all the trouble to take the time to try to steal my identity.

Soon we may all need a user name and password to go to the bathroom.  Maybe “they” will keep count how many times you relieve yourself during the course of the day.  Now there’s real important interesting information.  Those of you who have read this blog may remember the “key to the men’s room” in “Things that confuse me, Part One”.  Same idea I guess.

 

With the major banks paying you virtually no interest on your accounts and now attempting to charge you a monthly fee to use your ATM to get to your own money.  Fortunately, the consumers actually bonded together and virtually stopped this charge as the banks will need to get creative.  But, have no fear, I believe the banks will get creative and will find a way to keep their stockholders happy at our expense.

I am thinking about going back to a banking method used in the old days.  CASH, remember that paper stuff with pictures of dead president’s on them?  I may just stick my money in my mattress or in a hidden hole in one of my home’s walls.  It might be the most efficient way to keep my money.  At least I won’t need a User ID or Password to get to it and I won’t pay any fees to get to it. 

No need to speak to a teller or to use one of those chat things you do on line with “Bob” or “Sue,” which you know is a false name.  In this way you won't know that they are really in India or somewhere else where labor is inexpensive.  Having to answer security questions with "Bob" or "Sue" is also a bit concerning.

We have a security nearly everywhere we go.  We have a security system on our home, of course with a password.  A password to open the garage door, and as you can see, we can’t escape the process.  It’s almost everywhere in our life. 

Am I the only one that feels this way?  On Friday, I will share with you one  way we could put American’s back to work, invest in our country’s security for years to come and never have to remember a password, user ID or user name ever again. 

See you Friday for more of Notes by Blue.

Please follow me on Twitter @slblue. If you have a moment, I would love to hear from you, either add a comment in the section below or send me an email to: steveblue22@gmail.com Please be sure to forward the blog to your co-workers, family and friends.

Strange College Football Rituals.... Part Two

On Tuesday we discussed some of the strange college football rituals.  Tailgating and painting your body with the team logo or an alphabet letter are ritual activities which are done prior to the game.  Now it’s time to actually go to the college football stadium.  This is a place that can hold as many as 100,000+ fans.  Most are in a similar “Happy” condition and are ready to watch their favorite team try to legally beat the crap out of the opposing team and not have to go to jail.

  

Players are cheered when they knock someone on their butt. They are also cheered if they are knocked unconscious and get back up.  Seems strange, but they call it “Good Sportsmanship.”

Drinking is not permitted in the stadium.  Amazingly, as you go to your assigned seat, all you can smell is the sweet aroma of bourbon and beer.  One of the oldest and common rituals is nearly everyone at the game will have a flask under their coat filled to the brim with Jack Daniels. 

Usually the team’s fans are grouped together in their team’s colors. The visiting team’s fans have a certain number of seats set aside for them in the home team’s stadium.  These will always be a few select, less desirable seats, with the worst view of the field of play. They call this the home team advantage. 

The visitors are usually out numbered 500 to 1 and if you are a visiting team and given tickets in that are in the home team section, it is wise not to wear your team's colors. You will be subjected to verbal harassment during the entire game and especially after the game.  In essence, you take your life in your own hands if you are wearing the visiting team’s colors.

Almost every college football game is sold out, that’s a given.  Come rain or snow, it’s always difficult to get tickets to a game.  Some people are left season tickets in family wills to insure they keep their seats and remain a family tradition. 

They are like gold and will be passed down from generation to generation.  Someone could probably make a case with that fact that these rituals have become a genetic problem. No actual research has been done on this problem to prove this to be a fact, but it’s under consideration at this time.

The ritual of “flipping of the coin” with both team’s captains gathered at the center of the field will be the last time the players will be civil to each other until the end of the game.  For the next 48 minutes of playing time, each team will try to legally physically destroy each other.

The half-time show program allows time to give the warriors a chance to relax, catch their breath, and be screamed at by their coaches, .  It also appears that all 100,000+ fans have the need to go to the bathroom at this time. They have just enough bathrooms that each line will take longer than the half-time show to get through.

During half-time each team’s band, usually with a lame theme, will march around on the field forming patriotic and team visuals. While they can only be truly appreciated if you are in the cheap seats, which are the final few rows at the top of the stadium, better known as the “Nose Bleed Section.” 

To those with seats close to the field, it looks more like people running around with instruments trying not to smack into each other while playing music so loud it can be deafening.  It can be particularly confusing to watch if the fans have kept that “tailgate buzz” or if they have already emptied the flask we spoke about earlier.

Let’s not forget those wealthy or politically connected, that have the honor of watching the game in one of the expensive private suites.  They are climate controlled, there is a TV so you can watch the replays, and it’s always catered with the finest food you can afford. 

There you can get buzzed with a few of your friends without having to stand out in the cold while drinking a cold one.  These boxes are purchased, many times by companies to entertain the owner’s family and company’s clients and are also passed down from generation to generation.  These people usually don’t tailgate as they tailgate in class in these special suites and don’t end up smelling like a fire.

Many times these people have names like Biff and Buffy, or Tre and Junior, and their Daddy gave them their seats or are members of their team’s Booster Club.  They give their hard earned money to the athletic department in support of their team and are greatly appreciated by the university as college football is one of the greatest financial supporters of the school.  Some supporters have even been known to give current or potential players summer jobs to “assist” both current and potential players to coerce them into going to their school. 

Boosters who get caught doing this can go to jail, but they look at it as "supporting their team and giving a kid a chance to earn some money for his family."  While illegal, many supporters find ways to beat the system that discourages this behavior.  The NCAA does its best to monitor this kind of behavior, but it still takes place because of systematic loop holes in the process.

As the game ends and hopefully the home team wins, another ritual is to “tear down the goal post.”  This is usually left to championship games and is when drunken students feel the need to shimmy up the goal post and stand on it while other loyal fans shake it to bend it and bring it down to the ground.  While this is as interesting to watch as it was to watch as the statues of Saddam were when they came down in Iraq.  It has no known real purpose.

But the goal post being broken and taken down is the casualty and costs the University thousands each time a group of students brings it to its knees.  It has no social or economic value other than it must be replaced at the expense of the school.

So there you have it from a Midwesterner whose college was so private it could barely fill a classroom, let alone a football stadium.  These strange college football rituals that occur on a weekly basis, ultimately, have no real effect on the outcome of the game.  But are what keep the game unique.

It’s all about tradition and bragging rights.  Not always the smartest things to do on a Saturday, but are done by each team’s loyal fans most Saturdays. Why are these rituals done, many ask?  In a word, Tradition.  Unfortunately, many times it’s because they just don’t know any better.  While still another brilliant reason is “because it’s fun to do. And my Daddy did it when he went here.”  Go figure. 

See you next Tuesday with the next edition of Notes by Blue, have a great weekend and hope your team wins on Saturday.

Please follow me on Twitter @slblue. If you have a moment, I would love to hear from you, either add a comment in the section below or send me an email to: steveblue22@gmail.com Please be sure to forward the blog to your co-workers, family and friends.

Strange College Football Rituals.... Part One

It took a month for the blog to hit the first 1000 hits, now after four months it has hit 35,000 hits.  11,000 hits in the last month alone, A Special Thanks to you, for reading and making Notes by Blue one of the fastest growing blogs on the internet.  When I wrote this piece, last month, I wrote "In our first three months, we have now had over 24,000 hits from all over the world! Thank you again for your loyal support." 

I want to thank you all for your support and on Tuesday it will be a brand new blog on "Passwords".  Please come back on Tuesday if you have ever been frustrated by all the passwords and user ID's we have to keep track of these days.

Steve

As we all know, the college football season began recently.  Here in the South, college football is nearly a religion.  It is a very personal matter and many times spectators take it to extremes.  After all, who you root for is either based on where you were educated, or where a family member was educated or it’s where you currently live. Either way, sometimes you have no choice as to who you will be a fan.  But nearly everyone is supports at least one team, it’s a given if you live here in the South.  After all, this is considered the “Bible Belt.”

As I discuss this subject, please take my observations as someone that is from the Midwest and didn’t participate in these rituals while I was in college.  Primarily my feelings were based on the fact that my alma mater didn’t have a football team.  Actually they didn’t have an athletic department, let alone a team.  So when I moved here 35 years ago, I thought these people were crazy.  Now, after living here so long, and understanding the rituals of college football, it’s been confirmed.  They are crazy.

Generally speaking, in preparation to attend a game, there are many rituals that take place.  Probably the most common is “tailgating.” For those of you just coming out of your cave, this is a ritual in which a group of people gather, sometimes the morning of a game or sometimes even the night before a game, to share food and spirits in a parking lot.  Yes, people hang out in a parking lot or an open field near the football stadium.

The location of the actual spot, in the parking lot to have this weekly feast, becomes very competitive and squatters win out.  You read that correctly, you become a squatter in a parking lot.  Not that you actually have to physically squat the entire time you are there, but a squatter in the sense you have secured your location from others jockeying for position.  Like in the early 1800’s when people would go prospecting for gold and when they found a good location, they claimed it as theirs.  The feeling is, “Don’t mess with my spot.”

The intent is your group needs to be seen by others, and squatter’s rights have become important.  Superstition becomes paramount, a group must have a certain spot and always the same spot in the parking lot party.  The belief is their team always wins when the group is in “their spot” and if they don’t have that spot, the team will obviously lose the game.  It is not uncommon for some people to feel the need to stand in the cold and cook meals, sometimes all night, while standing around a fire to insure they have their sacred spot.

By the time the game starts, all those standing around the fire will smell like a fire.  As usually there are no showers close to the parking lot.  There’s nothing like smelling like a fire to get someone fired up for a football game.  While many will bring their prepared dishes and make it a feast and beer festival in a parking lot across from the stadium.  After stuffing themselves with burgers and hot dogs, BBQ, beans, coleslaw and other southern delicacies, while finishing off a keg of beer or a fifth of bourbon, they will then attempt to go to the actual game.

Some who tailgate, don’t even have tickets to the game and will watch it with a generator and a TV.  Just to have the “feeling of the game.”  Some I think do it because there is a keg of beer, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a TV with a safe place to pass out.

OK, now back to the football crazy fans.  They tend to become football maniacs and will almost anything to show support for their team.  They lose all sense of sanity.  Now, I’m not sure if it’s the booze, they may wake up this way, or it is a learned talent.  But, I have always wondered about those that will paint their bodies and stand around in freezing weather. 

That’s right, grown adults paint their faces, sometimes their bodies with their team’s colors and logos.  Will it guarantee a win? NO.  But, no one has told them that, so the ritual continues from generation to generation. Small children are subjected to body painting under the guidance of their parents.  So the whole family wakes up and paints each other prior to the game.  But, I must be totally honest; I personally have never prepared to see a football game by painting my body with my team's colors, logos or the alphabet, whether it’s warm or cold. Maybe it’s me that’s crazy, but I don’t think so.

Then they have to walk around the rest of the day looking like a total loser that painted their body.  Even stranger, if you think about it, as I obviously have done. Why do a group of guys (women are usually much smarter) paint one letter on their bare chest?  What would happen, especially after tailgating and a lot of beers, they become dyslexic and can’t spell?

They must nominate someone sober, like a “designated speller”, to put them in the correct order so they spell their team correctly while sitting in the stands.  Some of the various people get to a point where they aren’t sure where they are, let alone know how to spell.  It can be pretty funny to watch them from a distance.

  

What if painting your body the school colors was extended to other college experiences?  Could you see people painted up at a college debating team match?  I think not.  Or what about a college tennis match?  I sure hope I never see it, it would always seem out of place for me.  This process seems to primarily center on football.

Personally, I prefer to watch it on TV in the comfort of my “Man Cave” at home with my female dogs.  This way I can sit in my comfortable leather chair and ottoman. Sleep during half time and be with my girls, as they are sleeping too.  The temperature and weather is always perfect. I have never been rained on or felt frozen in the Man Cave.  The best part, is I never have to wait in line to go to the bathroom.  I am always first in line.  I can drink whatever I want and not worry about driving home or traffic.  As Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing.”

The dogs aren’t real big fans of any sport, but will watch whatever I decide.  I have found that they truly don’t care who wins, either way they are happy.  Then again, they are always happy, just to be with me.  They don’t interrupt by talking during an exciting play and don’t ask me to do something for them while the game is going on. They can use their doggy door if need be.

Join me on Thursday when I finish “Strange College Football Rituals Part Two.”  Do you have any special ritual you and your friends have before or at a game?  Let me know, and if I have space I’ll add it to the blog.  See you on Thursday.

Please follow me on Twitter @slblue. If you have a moment, I would love to hear from you, either add a comment in the section below or send me an email to: steveblue22@gmail.com Please be sure to forward the blog to your co-workers, family and friends.

Many Of Us Would Rather Drop, Than Shop Part Two

A Special Thanks to you,  for reading and making Notes by Blue one of the fastest growing blogs on the internet. In just over the first two months, we have had over 18,000 hits from all over the world!  Thank you again for your loyal support.

Steve Blue 

Shopping is an art form, I think.  I obviously must have absolutely no artistic ability at all.  I guess it all depends on what you are shopping for.  Let me explain further.

I know a guy who also hates to shop, but goes shopping with his wife to prevent her from buying the entire store.  If his wife shops, without her husband, she will bring home 10 items that she bought “on sale” to see which of the stuff he likes.  Her ploy is, if she returns 8 of the 10, assuming he will think she’s saving him money by bringing most of the items back, while still getting two new ones in the process.  She’s even “shopping” him to get a deal for herself.  That’s why he tries to always go shopping with her, he figured it out.

She’s also the type that must buy something, every day, as long as it’s on sale.  It might only cost $25, but she must bring something home every day.  She gives true meaning to the word “ Sale Shopaholic.”  He has tried for years to get her to stop, to no avail.  It frustrates him to death, but as he reasons it, it’s cheaper than a divorce.

This same wonderful woman has always wanted a lake house, in addition to their current home.  They are empty nesters and don’t need the size house they have been in for the last 20+ years, and she wants more to decorate.  She loves to decorate and is very good at it.  After each home decorating project, she usually decides that they now need that summer home. 

Guys love to tease him by asking her, “When are you going to buy that new summer home you’ve been talking about for years?”  It’s fun to watch him roll his eyes and then have to think of a way to get out of it.

What it usually means, to divert her thinking of an additional home, he suggests she redecorate  another room in their current home.  He told me once, “It usually works every time and it’s much less expensive than another home.”  So she continues to change a room’s décor in most every room constantly.  I think in the long run it has probably cost him the cost of another home, but it at least delays the inevitable.

Now, they stay with their friends, who have second homes or condos, so she gets the “Second Home Syndrome” out of her system.  They will spend a long weekend or a week at a friend’s place “To get to know the area and see if they should buy there as well.” 

He’s happy so he doesn’t have to keep up another home and he knows he can eventually talk her out of it.  They have been doing this for years and it seems to work, except when they are there she wants to go house hunting and drags him along even though he knows it will never happen.

It’s kind of like taking one of the “Free Offers” given by time sharing companies as long as you sit through their sales pitch.  Instead, he has to look at “potential second homes” to fulfill his commitment to the trip.  So far, his system has worked.

While shopping can be a pain, sometimes the negotiating can be fun.  I have a friend that would love to shop at small, family-owned stores and negotiate price with the owner.  This could never be done in large corporate-owned chain stores, as they don’t give this authority to anyone at the store level.

He did this not to actually save money as he was very wealthy, he would do it to see if he could actually get away with it.  Let me give you an example.  Let’s say he went into a small clothing boutique, family owned, and bought $500 of clothing.  He would ask to speak to the owner. 

When the owner would meet his new customer, my friend would say, “What a pleasure it is to meet you and I really like the selections you have at your store.  While I am about to purchase one of your $750 suits on sale for $500, I will pay you cash and I only will pay you $480.” 

The owner would usually say, “I’m sorry sir, the suit is already on sale and the price is $500.”  My friend would reply, “So you would rather me use a credit card, you would then wait for your money from them and pay them the 4% fee the credit card companies charge you.  Versus me paying you cash right now, and giving me, your new customer, the 4% additional savings?” 

Nine times out of ten, it would work and he saved himself an additional $20 by doing it.  More importantly, as far as he was concerned, he got away with it and thought it was fun to do.

When my wife and I were shopping for a home, I like the negotiating that makes shopping fun. We purchased our current home a little over ten years ago, I (negotiating contracts is part of my business) explained to her that whatever happens as we are negotiating, if the deal is not right, we must just walk away from it.  Emotions could not play a part of our negotiations. This is a business deal, nothing else.  There are many other homes we can purchase.  She said she understood.

Unexpectedly, I found our dream house we wanted very much. During the process, we were about $10,000 apart from the owner’s latest offer.  My wife said, “What if they don’t take our offer?  I really want this house!”  I reminded her of what we talked about early into our negotiations about walking away.  She replied, “ Yes, I remember and agreed with it.  But I REALLY  REALLY  REALLY  want this house!!!” 

She went on to say, “I’ll give you the $10,000, if you get the house”  After I stopped laughing, I told her it wasn’t necessary, let’s just see what they say.  The sellers eventually agreed on our offer and we lived happily ever after, with an additional $10,ooo in our pockets, not theirs.

While shopping can also be a vice, it can be fun and rewarding.  But most of us, most men that is, don’t enjoy the process.  Most men don’t want to touch everything before I buy it, or try it on with no real intent on purchasing it.  Usually, we just want to buy it, get out and go home.

One reason I don’t like to shop with my wife is because she nearly always does this to me.   It’s usually, it’s in large warehouse member stores where this occurs.  After we have stood in the long check out and as we are starting to unload our basket, she inevitably remembers she forgot something. She leaves and gets lost in the store. 

This drives me nuts, as all those others in line now have to wait for her to return so the cashier can finish our tab.  I know all of them are thinking, “Oh no, this is going to take forever.”  One by one they move to another line and give me a dirty look as I stand there helplessly. 

I finally would say, “If you aren’t here when they finish ringing us up, you can stand in line again.”  I have said it more than once, unfortunately, it hasn’t worked as she still does it to me.  I think it might be personal, as she knows it will get me every time.

Now, I just refuse to go shopping with her.  This way it keeps our marriage together and I don’t have to go.  I am very happy about not going and she is happy as she loves to shop.  Recently, she has been very ill and I have had to do all the shopping.  It’s amazing how sometimes you do what you hate to do because you are a husband, but you do them anyway.  If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t be a husband any more….not a good idea.

I can’t wait until she is better and she can do what she loves to do, shop til she drops.  I would rather drop than shop, any day!

See you next Tuesday at Notes by Blue.

Please follow me on Twitter @slblue. If you have a moment, I would love to hear from you, either add a comment in the section below or send me an email to: steveblue22@gmail.com Please be sure to forward the blog to your co-workers, family and friends.

Many Of Us Would Rather Drop, Than Shop Part One

While some people enjoy shopping til they drop.  Many would rather drop than shop.  Going to a mall, a grocery store, or one of the big box discount warehouse stores has always been one of my least favorite things to do.  It’s always turns out to be very time consuming, especially in the big box stores, I always spend more than I thought I was going to spend, and I buy things I didn’t really need in the first place. 

 

We still need the essentials, like food and clothing.  But, do I really need an outdoor butane space warmer in the summer because it’s on sale?  Because it was a deal, do I really need it?  Honestly, I hate being in the cold and cooking on the grill in the cold is even a worse thought.  Why would I make it more convenient for myself to do something I dislike?  I know I will never use it, because I can’t see myself cooking on a grill when it’s 20 degrees outside. That’s why we have a kitchen in our home, right?

 It’s never going to happen.  I know it, but, I still bought it because it was on sale in this summer.  It’s still in the box and has finally made it up to my garage attic for safe keeping and because we kept tripping over it.  I know when it gets cold, I will think about using it, but actually going into the attic to get it? Who am I kidding?

Shopping for clothes is my least favorite of all shopping. I have never been a GQ type of a guy, which I am sure surprises most of my close friends.  I hate to try on clothes.  Now, I must admit, I have clothes for many sizes, as my weight does tend to fluctuate, usually larger than the previous year.  But I never throw anything away.

You never know, I may lose those extra pounds and get back to my old playing weight.  Recently, my wife became very ill and for about two months I didn’t eat much as I was in a very worrisome time in my life.  My clothes were finally too large and I could actually pull my jeans off without undoing the zipper or button. 

I thought to myself, "ah, it’s a good thing I kept those old jeans."  I searched the closet and lo and behold I found some that fit.  They still had the cleaning tag on them so I pulled it off and discovered they were last cleaned in September of 1999.  While I felt good about being able to wear them again after 12 years, it confirmed why I never throw clothes away.  Most importantly, it saved me from going clothes shopping.

Think about it.  To go shopping for clothes for me at a mall requires patience, something I honestly lack.  First, I have to finally finding a place to park in the massive parking lot, with all the other shopping professionals, (and you know who you are). I walk into a building with hundreds of different stores on two or three stories.  This is one of the few times I go with my wife, as she is definitely a professional.  She has a good eye for knowing what looks good on me, as not much does, but I think it has more to do with my body that it does of the clothes.  After going through the maze, of stores we finally find one that carries men’s clothing. 

She will lead me around and help me pick out a few things to “try on.”  For me, I try to first find a few garments I would actually wear in public.  Then after gathering a few, I am led to an area full of separate booths with a sliding curtain.  It’s like changing your clothes in a shower with no water.  This is all done to try them on to see if I can get my body into them. 

Then the “Clothes Guard” hands me a large card with a number that represents the total number of items I am going into the booth. This is done to insure I come out with the same number.  Like, I want to go to jail over stealing a pair of pants or shirt.  But, I understand the theory behind it.  Usually, the clerk – oops – The Clothes Guard – is unhappy with the world because they have to put back all the crap you just brought and put on the pile to restock.  They usually don’t count the items, and all they do is wonder where and the world did you find this stuff in the first place?   

Then I must go out and model them for my wife, and every other woman standing close waiting for her idiot husband or boyfriend to come out to do the same thing.  I was never meant to be a model, for a lot of reasons.

 I am a salesperson’s delight.  Why?  Because when I go I already know it will be a cold day in hell before I go again.  So when I find something that fits and I like, I buy them in most every color it comes in.  Because I don’t want to ever do it again anytime soon.

I will never go clothes shopping with my wife, never ever, never ever!  I would rather put a stick in my eye, than go shopping with my wife.  I have done it, and regret to this day.

Shopping for clothes for my wife is an all day affair.  Besides being totally bored, I don’t care what she wears as she has good taste and looks great in everything she wears.  Her only lack of taste exception, is of course, in men as she chose me, but that’s another story for another day. 

This is what happens, we go into a store and she knows exactly where to go for her size and style. Now begins the hunt. Why am I there?  I am certainly not going to go through the racks of clothes with her.  So I go to the “I was dragged here” to the men’s “Circle of Stupidity.”  These are all the men that weren’t quick enough to come up with an excuse to get out of going shopping with their wife or girlfriend.  I have never seen a woman in this area, I wonder why?  Could it be they are shopping and won’t sit down as they may miss something on sale?

Once in a while a store will set aside a corner of their store for one of these areas and put a TV with ESPN.  They figure the longer a guy can be amused, the longer she will shop and buy stuff.  It will have soft chairs or a sofa to keep you comfortable.  Some of the upscale boutiques will even bring you a cup of coffee, a bottle of water or a soda to keep the morons happy and content.

Then I have to magically retrace my entrance into the mall so I can possibly remember where I parked my car.  Not always an easy task.  And I love walking around with packages trying to find my car and I finally resort to pushing the key fob that locks the car and listen for where it's coming from.  It means I am close to it.  I have been know to even pop the trunk during the hunt.

See you on Thursday for Part Two of “I Would Rather Drop, Than Shop.” 

As those who have read the blog previously, I like to keep my blog interactive.  Do you have any famous shopping stories?  Send them to me at steveblue22@gmail.com  If they are funny and I have room, I will try to get it into the Thursday’s “Notes by Blue” Blog.

Please follow me on Twitter @slblue. If you have a moment, I would love to hear from you, either add a comment in the section below or send me an email to: steveblue22@gmail.com Please be sure to forward the blog to your co-workers, family and friends.