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Shopping is an art form, I think. I obviously must have absolutely no artistic ability at all. I guess it all depends on what you are shopping for. Let me explain further.
I know a guy who also hates to shop, but goes shopping with his wife to prevent her from buying the entire store. If his wife shops, without her husband, she will bring home 10 items that she bought “on sale” to see which of the stuff he likes. Her ploy is, if she returns 8 of the 10, assuming he will think she’s saving him money by bringing most of the items back, while still getting two new ones in the process. She’s even “shopping” him to get a deal for herself. That’s why he tries to always go shopping with her, he figured it out.
She’s also the type that must buy something, every day, as long as it’s on sale. It might only cost $25, but she must bring something home every day. She gives true meaning to the word “ Sale Shopaholic.” He has tried for years to get her to stop, to no avail. It frustrates him to death, but as he reasons it, it’s cheaper than a divorce.
This same wonderful woman has always wanted a lake house, in addition to their current home. They are empty nesters and don’t need the size house they have been in for the last 20+ years, and she wants more to decorate. She loves to decorate and is very good at it. After each home decorating project, she usually decides that they now need that summer home.
Guys love to tease him by asking her, “When are you going to buy that new summer home you’ve been talking about for years?” It’s fun to watch him roll his eyes and then have to think of a way to get out of it.
What it usually means, to divert her thinking of an additional home, he suggests she redecorate another room in their current home. He told me once, “It usually works every time and it’s much less expensive than another home.” So she continues to change a room’s décor in most every room constantly. I think in the long run it has probably cost him the cost of another home, but it at least delays the inevitable.
Now, they stay with their friends, who have second homes or condos, so she gets the “Second Home Syndrome” out of her system. They will spend a long weekend or a week at a friend’s place “To get to know the area and see if they should buy there as well.”
He’s happy so he doesn’t have to keep up another home and he knows he can eventually talk her out of it. They have been doing this for years and it seems to work, except when they are there she wants to go house hunting and drags him along even though he knows it will never happen.
It’s kind of like taking one of the “Free Offers” given by time sharing companies as long as you sit through their sales pitch. Instead, he has to look at “potential second homes” to fulfill his commitment to the trip. So far, his system has worked.
While shopping can be a pain, sometimes the negotiating can be fun. I have a friend that would love to shop at small, family-owned stores and negotiate price with the owner. This could never be done in large corporate-owned chain stores, as they don’t give this authority to anyone at the store level.
He did this not to actually save money as he was very wealthy, he would do it to see if he could actually get away with it. Let me give you an example. Let’s say he went into a small clothing boutique, family owned, and bought $500 of clothing. He would ask to speak to the owner.
When the owner would meet his new customer, my friend would say, “What a pleasure it is to meet you and I really like the selections you have at your store. While I am about to purchase one of your $750 suits on sale for $500, I will pay you cash and I only will pay you $480.”
The owner would usually say, “I’m sorry sir, the suit is already on sale and the price is $500.” My friend would reply, “So you would rather me use a credit card, you would then wait for your money from them and pay them the 4% fee the credit card companies charge you. Versus me paying you cash right now, and giving me, your new customer, the 4% additional savings?”
Nine times out of ten, it would work and he saved himself an additional $20 by doing it. More importantly, as far as he was concerned, he got away with it and thought it was fun to do.
When my wife and I were shopping for a home, I like the negotiating that makes shopping fun. We purchased our current home a little over ten years ago, I (negotiating contracts is part of my business) explained to her that whatever happens as we are negotiating, if the deal is not right, we must just walk away from it. Emotions could not play a part of our negotiations. This is a business deal, nothing else. There are many other homes we can purchase. She said she understood.
Unexpectedly, I found our dream house we wanted very much. During the process, we were about $10,000 apart from the owner’s latest offer. My wife said, “What if they don’t take our offer? I really want this house!” I reminded her of what we talked about early into our negotiations about walking away. She replied, “ Yes, I remember and agreed with it. But I REALLY REALLY REALLY want this house!!!”
She went on to say, “I’ll give you the $10,000, if you get the house” After I stopped laughing, I told her it wasn’t necessary, let’s just see what they say. The sellers eventually agreed on our offer and we lived happily ever after, with an additional $10,ooo in our pockets, not theirs.
While shopping can also be a vice, it can be fun and rewarding. But most of us, most men that is, don’t enjoy the process. Most men don’t want to touch everything before I buy it, or try it on with no real intent on purchasing it. Usually, we just want to buy it, get out and go home.
One reason I don’t like to shop with my wife is because she nearly always does this to me. It’s usually, it’s in large warehouse member stores where this occurs. After we have stood in the long check out and as we are starting to unload our basket, she inevitably remembers she forgot something. She leaves and gets lost in the store.
This drives me nuts, as all those others in line now have to wait for her to return so the cashier can finish our tab. I know all of them are thinking, “Oh no, this is going to take forever.” One by one they move to another line and give me a dirty look as I stand there helplessly.
I finally would say, “If you aren’t here when they finish ringing us up, you can stand in line again.” I have said it more than once, unfortunately, it hasn’t worked as she still does it to me. I think it might be personal, as she knows it will get me every time.
Now, I just refuse to go shopping with her. This way it keeps our marriage together and I don’t have to go. I am very happy about not going and she is happy as she loves to shop. Recently, she has been very ill and I have had to do all the shopping. It’s amazing how sometimes you do what you hate to do because you are a husband, but you do them anyway. If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t be a husband any more….not a good idea.
I can’t wait until she is better and she can do what she loves to do, shop til she drops. I would rather drop than shop, any day!
See you next Tuesday at Notes by Blue.
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